I should go to bed when I said I'd do ... But my daily insomnia could not push me to the quiet cold bed waiting for me to allow me to rest ... In the end, I found that sleep around 4am this morning, after hours fuss with him.
It did not seem to go very high, in my view ... But it is useless to count the points of pain to know who feels worse between us. It feels bad to hurt me, I feel bad because he feels guilty ... It's a damn circle.
I should not feel too affected than that, I should deny outright the fact that I can suffer, but instead of that, I get overwhelmed. Yet I know it's bad for me, it's unhealthy atmosphere. I should push when it comes to me to discuss, as I hold to go talk to him myself. But it makes me so happy that he wants to exchange a few words with me again I open arms to welcome ... And stupidly
I open the door to new hope that I do not know too well, will be in vain ... I would have shielded me a little more, I'm colder, stronger, harder ... But it's not my nature. I am a sweet girl (and as a friend dear to my heart despite some things I am "the sweet girl par excellence"), too, I know ... But it is far too complex to try to change its real nature. Even if sometimes it needs to be compelling.
And I do not think the time I will suffer less as they say around me ... For as the very aptly wrote in the song Ihsahn Unhealer :
And You Believe That
Time Will Erase your Wounds heal
Your lies conceal
Time Will Erase your Wounds heal
Your lies conceal
can try to believe, but time does nothing ... Time is a placebo, it does heal those who believe ... And I am one of those people who do not believe that the worst of injuries can be dressed with a simple gift of patience ... And yet, I believe ...
... I believe ...
0 comments:
Post a Comment