China Investment Fund

Turn the Page

It came time to turn the page and inflict this suffering masochist ... I finished moping about my life and my loss claims failed relationships. Why live on failures while a long road still stretches under my feet and still holds many treasures just waiting to be found?

I saw my doctor on Tuesday. He would not give me treatment, and, with hindsight, I understand how right he was. All these tricks and toxic chemicals in my body does not help me to raise her head, the contrary.

course, my happiness always passes through the other. But since it is useless to try to strive to make happy someone who wants nothing from you, as much focus on the thousands people who live around you. I'm no Mother Teresa, I'm just a person with affection, and I have a real need to distribute it.

I do it actually, I do not think someone really human ... I'm more of a machine like ... Finally, "love" ... Not as absolute as that does trouble. And at least I am no longer ... I too suffered from excess of love for my people who do not worth the trouble and / or who do not want ... I'll learn to give love that burns in my essence, but wisely ...

Now, I must also learn not to be afraid to love others, and I must learn not to be shy too, but that it will not be easy. .. My shyness is rooted in me like an ancient oak tree that still refuse to be moved at least to see cut. My shyness is a perennial, but also a weed that I must learn to master in order not to miss opportunities that I might regret.

... I'm reborn ...

Taylor Swift Facebook Layouts

There comes the Chaos

Chaos pours ...

Nothing wrong ... Everything is crumbling and eventually destroy around me ...

All those friends who need help, but for which I can not do anything. I wish I could come to their aid, for whenever they came to mine (or not). I find my happiness in bringing it to others, and here I am over ... Overwhelmed by the forces of destiny that make me totally useless and the least able to fight for those who count for me.

The first bad news was less opposite to that received last night. I've learned as we take a slap in face without even seeing it coming. I'm still in shock, I'm sad and I feel guilty not to be able to do, even though I know I'm not responsible.

If I can bring some peace and quiet around me, what can I do now in this world, I who live only for others, for those I love ...?

To all of you who count for me and which I unfortunately can not ... Know that the love I have for you is unfathomable. Even if I can be at your side in the moments when you need most to me ... Pardon my absence and my lack of strength ...

... I must be strong ... For them ...

Wheel Replacement Suitcase

I should go to bed early ... From a Buried Heart

I should go to bed when I said I'd do ... But my daily insomnia could not push me to the quiet cold bed waiting for me to allow me to rest ... In the end, I found that sleep around 4am this morning, after hours fuss with him.

It did not seem to go very high, in my view ... But it is useless to count the points of pain to know who feels worse between us. It feels bad to hurt me, I feel bad because he feels guilty ... It's a damn circle.

I should not feel too affected than that, I should deny outright the fact that I can suffer, but instead of that, I get overwhelmed. Yet I know it's bad for me, it's unhealthy atmosphere. I should push when it comes to me to discuss, as I hold to go talk to him myself. But it makes me so happy that he wants to exchange a few words with me again I open arms to welcome ... And stupidly

I open the door to new hope that I do not know too well, will be in vain ... I would have shielded me a little more, I'm colder, stronger, harder ... But it's not my nature. I am a sweet girl (and as a friend dear to my heart despite some things I am "the sweet girl par excellence"), too, I know ... But it is far too complex to try to change its real nature. Even if sometimes it needs to be compelling.

And I do not think the time I will suffer less as they say around me ... For as the very aptly wrote in the song Ihsahn Unhealer :

And You Believe That
Time Will Erase your Wounds heal

Your lies conceal

can try to believe, but time does nothing ... Time is a placebo, it does heal those who believe ... And I am one of those people who do not believe that the worst of injuries can be dressed with a simple gift of patience ... And yet, I believe ...

... I believe ...

Ammonium Phosphat Buffer

There are times when the heart is so heavy that it is good to have a haven of peace where to dump his sufferings ... I choose to pay by my feelings and resentments, to start a new life can be, under better auspices.

There are so many things I still do not understand ... But between understanding and complete ignorance, I do not know what choice is most appropriate. Maybe I'd better stay in total ignorance and let my mind and my soul in peace, away from all these questions that torture me and poison me.

I miss, I can not deny ... My feelings for him are what they are, even if they hurt me, even if they guide my steps towards a nowhere that seems so dark. But I know I have to stand up and put my eyes to a brighter future. I so want to tell him everything, but I have to restrain myself, not only for himself, but above all for me.

I can not change things, or do it again with "if", it would be that self destructive ... Called me masochistic enough without adding on top, although I know it's the very thing that is my essence. Maybe I really like my suffering to the point of wanting to do it? I'll try anything

to make him happy and get and have my share of happiness. Everyone tells me "For your well being, so be a little selfish !"... Being selfish, I do not know how. My happiness comes if I can make others happy ... But there is a lost cause, he would hear more ...

I have to learn to live by and for me ... Do not forget the good times, but learn to live with them without feeling a twinge of regret ... But the road is long, and it will be laborious. But I think I have a strength in me than I suspect not a force that will allow me to move ...

... I have to learn ...