vox1969 @ 2005-05-21T23: 22:00
Today I turned 15 in my head and I decided to become a rock star. In my head because my birthday is only three months, but that is okay, anyway, 15 years is zero, no symbolism in there, but it's still better than 14, 14 is all rotten, I do not like that number. I liked 12 and 13, 14 stinks, 15 a little less, I fear 16, I think I'm fine love 17 and 19, actually. I'll have to look at these stories one day numerology. The lottery, I'm sure to lose, "1 more day c'st one day less," we win every time, by cons.
You tell me, why would jump to 15 years live like that, no transitions, no candles, no gifts? Because a fad. At 14, can not be a bitch, a slut, a little whore, a groupie, and I think that's what I decided to be number one phase of my plan. But I will speak of the plan. Maybe I should put a capital letter: Plan. At 14 years, we have more beautiful breasts mom (in volume, not in numbers, at this level I'm in the most absolute normality), black hair between her thighs one day I shave, ceremoniously there is still the baby of her dad and her mom. Not that I have anything against my parents, spit in the face of his parents is for losers (loser? Loser? I heard that term today, I liked it right away, I do not know why, I will have information on that, but I feel like an affinity with that word, elective affinity, probably), my parents are very good, not boring and all , but here I'm tired of being the baby, even dressed in black I'm baby-grand-daughter, I want to build myself a great girl. It will ask for work, because I know I'm not a big girl, all around me bitches think they are women, but no matter how they grow, without a tutor, I'll show them what I'm made, a valuable wood, smoldering fires, a bit delayed, no way I burns me like they trying to show up to their asses and suck cocks hurt when parents leave them with Kevin or any other idiot, France, if you ask me ass and my mouth will require that you deserve, so thou dost, but later when I decided me.
Sorry if I'm getting mixed up, it seems they call it "stream of consciousness' in literature is not the chest that it would teach me, how fortunate to have a nice library not far from home so - I have borrowed James Joyce's Ulysses, because when I asked them what they like Irish writer, that's what they responded mechanically, before changing his mind and tell me that no, it's probably too difficult for me - asshole I'll shit in his mouth, I learned to read at four years and I never stopped since, poor job - so I took you anyway, Mr. Joyce. They were right, it is still too difficult for me, but I felt that behind the line of words, one day, I passionately love this book - in short, the stream of consciousness, he was told to Joyce and I think things are going well in my writing, as I think, I shall reread it all later. Why Ireland for aileurs? Mom has a lot of U2 discs (the discs are stored separately from my parents, that's better, actually), and this video of Bono with his cup of football remained waving an Irish flag and it makes me want to go over there even though they are probably all alcoholics, like, I wonder what part of the world is not populated by alcoholics, may be here, less booze, rather then less than what I could look elsewhere, though I have not seen much This also not true anyway. I turn on the radio, was the hour when Rascal made his show on Radio FMR, always with the same piece as a generic one that is "Born to Lose", it means born to lose but it's also "born in Toulouse, phonetically, tip, pun, and yes, it is in Toulouse, well, that's probably why I like the word loser - definitely, loser, then, by dint of listening to the show on Wednesday afternoon or when I come home course earlier ... But where is what I have heard elsewhere, that word again? Probably at school.
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